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Wally keeps promising to divorce his wife and marry Nikki without ever quite managing to do so, but Nikki, apparently without irony, believes he's her true love.
Gwen spends her days baking bread, cooking enormous meals for perfect strangers, knitting sweaters for whoever might be standing nearby and condemning her daughter for the "evil" of sleeping with a man separated from his wife.
Since 2000's Blonde alone, Oates has published 10 other novels, two short-story collections, two essay collections, a play, three novels and a story collection for teens and one book for younger children.
If not quite Barbara Cartland's, it is still an exceptional output for a writer often mentioned as a potential Nobel laureate.
However, up to now they have refused to publish maps of the northern spurs - even though the routes have been subject to public consultation - leading to accusations that tens of thousands of people do not yet know that their homes will be affected by the route.
Campaigners have used material provided by HS2 Ltd, the company set up by the government to develop the proposal for a high-speed route, as well as information found in the Department for Transport's (Df T) consultation document, to draw up the map which The Sunday Telegraph publishes today.
Much as a reviewer might wish, it is impossible to avoid the fact that Joyce Carol Oates writes books faster than most people read them.
If you include her two pseudonyms (Lauren Kelly and Rosamond Smith), Mother, Missing is something like her 50th novel.To the west, meanwhile, the branch is likely to run near The Belfry, the renowned Warwickshire golf course which has hosted the Ryder Cup, two nature reserves - Colwich and Tittensor, both in Staffs- and Quarry Bank Mill and Styal Estate, a well preserved textile mill from the Industrial Revolution, set in sprawling countryside in Cheshire.The Y-shaped section north of Birmingham is likely to begin to be built in 2016 and is scheduled to open around 2032.A spokeswoman for the Df T said it was “irresponsible to speculate on the final route for HS2 north of Birmingham" as work was still in progress on various options.She added: “We are currently consulting on the route from London to Birmingham and the overall strategy for the rest of the network.This eastern spur is likely to have two interchange stations - one in the East Midlands, possibly Derby, and the other in Sheffield.