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If I do get any attention, it's generally unwanted, because the person is giving me a bad or creepy vibe.Generally, this is proven to me later when they won't leave me alone, demand unwanted contact, or want to buy me a drink and expect to go home with me.
You're expected to simply shrug off when you start talking to someone at a bar and they look at you with thinly-veiled disgust or do their best to move away from you to get to better-looking people.And if I don't pay attention to the people making me feel uncomfortable, I'm looked upon as too picky and ungrateful, when really, I just want to be respected and treated like a human being.In short, I feel like I can't win when it comes to dating, and I've become a little bitter and jaded about it.Street harassment is supposed to be seen as a compliment. "Someone's paying attention to you, shouldn't you be happy?You're supposed to be happy if someone leans creepily over you in a bar and tries to chat you up, and if that attention is unwanted, you're looked upon as strange or ungrateful. "Conversely, you're expected to grin and bear it when prettier friends grab the attention of someone you're interested in.I'm pretty average, and being fat, I've been told some pretty unbelievable things when it comes to dating.
It's insinuated that if you're not perfect, you should get ready to settle for whoever pays attention to you.
Why do I have to accept a less-than-stellar dating experience because of the way I look?
I don't feel like I have to lower my standards and expectations because I don't look like that girl over by the bar.
Lost weight, put on more makeup, tried to do something with our hair. I've connected with people on deeper levels and enjoyed being loved. We're not jokes, disgusting, ugly, or anything else, and anyone who wants to make us feel that way isn't worth our time.
We don't have to lower our expectations and standards.
I do like talking to people and meeting people at bars, and I don't go in thinking that I'm going to be looked upon as the uglier accessory to make my pretty friend look better, someone to overlook and snub -- like I'm a guard dog to "protect" her.