8 simple rules for dating my son

01-Feb-2015 02:37 by 6 Comments

8 simple rules for dating my son - buddy links dating

I always get a chuckle out of that when it came around!Last year someone sent it to a list I was on, and since I don't have a daughter, and in the spirit of the thing, I wrote up the following... You may glance at him, but any glances going beneath the belt will get you an immediate expulsion from my house.

Sweetie, you will not ask him to take you on any little side trips to anywhere, especially the mall, where he will be expected to tag along after you as you use him first as your personal chauffeur, then as your bearer for your packages. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with breasts hanging out, and looking like you are trying out for a job with Hugh Heffner, and I will not object.

If you break his heart, I will most assuredly make you wish you'd never been born, dear.

Should you happen to stop by here, please remember there is still such a thing as manners.

We're not even going to mention things that can be injected, are we?

If I ever even think you have even a small glimmer of intent to educate my son regarding these substances, I will be educating Officer Krupky about your general existence, just to be helpful, and insure your general good health...

As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my son to appear, and more than thirty seconds goes by, do not sigh and fidget, and do not snap your gum.

He is hurrying as fast as he can, and he's not only driving you, he's buying your movie ticket.I have no real problems with your basic pierced eyebrow, nose, lip, tongue or belly button, honest, but be aware that, with only the most helpful of intentions, I also have a rather large pair of pliers in my toolbox. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my son.Otherwise, once you have gone out with my darling boy, you will continue to date no one but him until you come to an amicable agreement to separate.In fact, actually, not that I think about it, thanks so very much for stopping over - instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like vacuuming?You may also be enlightened as to the use of many natural herbal substances, or crystallized and powdered substances.PS: If you are a teenage girl who has read this and still has a smile on your face, go ahead and call. If you somehow get through, just remember that your call may be monitored by our Customer Service Department.